The Morning After the Night Before
by xTornAsunderx
Summary: Jensen, was never much of a drinker. In retrospect, he should have seen all this comming. And with friends like his, he really should have realized he would get a detailed description of the whole disaster the next morning.
1. Wake up feeling like P Diddy

**I'm not entirely sure where this thing is going, but I was half dead from lack of sleep at 4am and Jensen walked up and started yelling in my ear, telling me about this awesome night he had. He wouldn't shut up until I wrote it all down. That boy can be one whiny bitch, when he wants to be.**

**This may or may not turn into a multi-chapter fic, dealing with each of The Losers individually. It may stop with Jensen. It may even turn into a short Cougar/Jensen romance. I really have no idea. I can only write what Jensen and Cougar tell me to.**

**Also, I feel I have a problem with OOC-ness. Tell me what you guys think.**

**Disclaimer:**

**I don't own The Losers. If I did, I'd have Cougar and Jensen chained to my bed and never let them leave. That is all.**

Jensen had never been all that good at handling his alcohol. This was one thing that was known as a universal truth. So it was rather important that when he did decide to drink, someone stuck with him, at least until he passed out. That way he didn't do anything to get himself arrested, hurt, or killed. However, one thing none of the Losers could stop him from doing, regardless of his state of sobriety, was keep him from saying something stupid.

This was also known as a universal truth.

And about as futile as trying to stop a force of nature.

So when he did get drunk off his ass, it would usually end with a story that the Losers can laugh at for a long time afterwards. Jensen was ok with this. He didn't mind being a source of humor in their usually depressing lifestyle of being stuck where they were, with crappy jobs, hotel rooms, and no family to go home to. But there were a few times, just a few, when Jensen wished he'd just shut his damn mouth.

Jensen woke up that morning, the same as most other mornings: face down in his bed, opening his eyes to stare at the gaudy floral print of the hotel sheets. What was different about this morning from the others, was that he could see Cougar on the bed next to him. The other man was fully clothed (_thank God, that would have been weird otherwise_) and sitting propped up against the headboard with his arms crossed over his chest, and his hat pulled down over his eyes, apparently still sleeping. Jensen's hangover kicked in not too long after that particular observation. He groaned quietly, and clapped a hand over his eyes to ward off the sunlight that had been making his blinding headache even worse. A second after that, the nausea hit, and he rolled over on the bed with an intent to make a mad dash for the toilet, only to make it to the edge of the mattress before throwing up into a conveniently placed trash can.

Jensen realized four things at that moment:

1. Someone had put that trashcan there for that exact reason.

2. Someone had apparently helped him back to his room last night.

3. Cougar was most likely that someone.

4. Cougar was laughing at him.

Granted, he had been slightly involved in reliving everything he had eaten in the last two days, but he could still hear the man's faint, deeply amused, chuckle over his own noise. He wiped his mouth with the back of one hand, before closing his eyes and slowly, _gently_, turning over onto his back.

He didn't even have to look at the smug bastard to know Cougar was smirking in the way that meant Jensen had done something particularly stupid and/or amusing. He sighed, " Are you going to tell me, or do I have to ask?"

"Ask what?"

That rat-_bastard_.

" 'Ask what?' What do you mean, 'Ask what?'? What the Hell happened last night?"

"Witch part, amigo? You had a particularly eventful evening." He could hear Cougar getting off the bed and moving around the room as he spoke, running water, and footsteps nearing the bed again. A second later a cool, wet, rag dropped onto his face.

"What, really?" He sighed gratefully as he folded the rag and placed it over his eyes. More footsteps, more running water, footsteps again. Then a jean clad knee gently nudged his elbow, and he lifted a corner of the rag to see Cougar (_glorious, amazing, merciful, Cougar_) standing over him holding a glass of water and some aspirin. He smiled, and sat up against the headboard, "You, sir, are a God among men. Amen. Praise be to Cougar." He tilted his glass in salute before partaking of the wonderful Elixir of life known only as pain killers. Cougar just chuckled again, and shook his head before waiting for Jensen to continue their conversation. After all, the boy could talk enough for the both of them. "Well, I don't seem to remember much past the bar."

"Witch bar?" He pushed Jensen's legs over and sat down at the foot of the bed.

"There was more than one?" This time Cougar laughed outright. Jensen just sighed again, pressing his fingers to his temples, and tried to remember something, _anything_, from the night before. "Uh…Pepittoe's? …Pepper's?…Prada's?"

"Papi's."

"That's it! That's the one. Papi's."

Cougar chuckled _again_, shook his head _again_, smirked _again. _And at that point, Jensen realized that last night's story was going to top anything he had done in the past.


	2. Grab my glasses, out the door

**Sorry about the wait on this chapter. After the first one got written, Cougar abducted Jensen and locked them in my bedroom, and writers block fell over on my muse, so I had nobody telling me what to write. Regardless, here is what I managed to get through.**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own The Losers. This has not changed. If I did Jensen/Cougar would be **_**so **_**cannon. Also, anything you recognize from Texts From Last Night is not mine either.**

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The Morning After the Night Before

Chapter 2

Jensen sighed, and leaned back against the headboard of the bed. With the way Cougar reacted he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to hear what had gone on, but figured it was best to figure out the whole story now, just incase he had to do any apologizing or make sure to stay away from someone for a while. "So? Tell me all the gory details. Give it to me straight, Dr. Coug, how long do I have left to live before someone breaks down the door and tries to kill me?"

Cougar smiled again, "What's the last thing you remember?"

"… four beers, four Tequila shots, two shots of Jack, and …yeah, that's all I got. Oh, wait! I do remember this hot little chica in red dress."

Cougar had to look away and cover his mouth to keep from laughing in Jensen's face. "That was a cross dresser." He took a deep breath to keep from laughing again, "But in your defense, she was rather convincing."

"Wow, ok. Well. That's a first. What happened with her?… Him?…Her? Whatever. What happened?"

"Just a typical conversation between you and any other woman. I believe you unintentionally said something rather offensive, because she bought a drink, just to pour it on you."

"Me stuff, then?"

"Si."

Jensen wiped his sweaty palms on his pants, and noticed something odd. "Why are there two black X's on my hands?"

" Ah, that was after Papi's. You still seemed rather lucid, so none of us objected when you suggested Chica's Locos."

Jensen removed the wet rag from his from his head and half heartedly tried scrubbing the dried marker off. He looked so pathetic Cougar took pity on him. He grabbed the rag from Jensen's hand, walked to the sink again, re-wet it, and added soap. "The strip club down the street."

"Si. Considering your recent failure with the cross dresser, we didn't think you would be so eager to do something else _that _foolish _that_ soon." He walked back over to the bed, sat down next to Jensen's thighs, grabbed his left hand, and began gently scrubbing away the marks.

"So… I started drawing on myself?" The Spaniard's hands holding his own felt oddly intimate and comforting at the same time. He leaned back and closed his eyes again, silently praying that nothing had been drawn on his face.

"You got cut off after a stripper leaned over in front of you and you screamed 'I can see your soul from here!' into her cleavage."

"Damnit, I wish I could remember that."

Cougar just ducked his head down, pretending to be concentrating on the task of cleaning up his teammate, but really using the brim of his hat to cover his smile. "Clay and Pooch tried to take you back to the hotel after that but you got away from them for five minutes. They found you sitting in an empty garbage can, back outside the club. You kept telling everyone you were trashed."

"See? And Roque tells me I'm not funny. I'm funny. I am _Damn_ funny!" Jensen couldn't help but laugh at himself as Cougar finished with his left hand and moved on to the right. "Wait, I think I remember this part. At least, the part after the trashcan thing I mean. Clay handed me off to someone else. That was you wasn't it? I think it was. Then I tried hitting on someone _smoking_ hot, and-"

"Me."

Jensen's head snapped up and his eyes flew open, "You. 'You' what? I hit on you? Really? Damn, ummm…I…really? I'm sorry? I swear I didn't realize it was you. You know how hammered I was. Really. Sorry." He abruptly tried to pull his hands away, suddenly uncomfortable with the contact, but the Spaniard just gripped his fingers tighter and continued his work.

Cougar glanced up at the uncomfortable man and just smiled slowly. "Don't worry about it, amigo. I've gotten compliments on my eyes before, and you were nothing if not flattering. For the record though, you don't sound all that sorry."

"Well, I am."

"You shouldn't be. As I said, you were very flattering, especially considering how smashed you were. I don't see why you have such trouble with women, amigo." Cougar, having finished removing the ink from his teammate, tossed the rag into the sink, and braced himself with one hand on the other side of Jensen's legs.

Jensen smiled and leaned back again, damn happy that there was no awkwardness between the two of them. He was also damn happy that the pain killers were starting to kick in. He laced his fingers over his stomach, and cracked one eye open. "So. Then what happened?"

"Clay decided it was time for you to go home after that, but before I got you out of the club, you got away again. Apparently, you found your way back to the bar, and started hitting on Clay this time."

"I didn't." Jensen brought a hand up to massage the bridge of his nose. That headache was coming back.

"You did, amigo. But he seemed rather receptive to the entire thing."

"What?"

"Well, he didn't seem to mind the kiss at all. In fact, it looked like you were both rather enjoying yourselves."

Jensen's entire body froze up, "Be kind, rewind. What? I… I kissed _Clay_. Um, alright. I might just believe that. But Clay didn't, like, deck me or anything? Wow. Must have dodged a bullet there. How trashed was he?"

"To my knowledge? He wasn't. After all, he did have the good sense to gently push you back to me with a pat on the ass, and promise to remember it from now on."

"Well, that's wonderful. I'm gonna have to avoid him for a few days. What next? Did I try to seduce Pooch? What about Roque? No, wait. If I hit on Roque I probably wouldn't be alive right now. Alright, so how bad did I embarrass myself after that? Please tell me that's all. Even if you have to lie to me. Just tell me I suddenly came to my senses and walked calmly back to the hotel. Tell me this, _please_."

"Almost. Now, do you remember anything else?"

"Not really, no. I think I remember coming back to the room, then I remember talking a lot-" Cougar could have interjected that this _particular _memory could have come from _any _point in Jensen's existence. _Ever. _But he didn't. "but I don't remember you responding at all, so it must have been something about computers. Sorry for techno babbling so much, I know you all hate it when I talk tech."

"Que? Amigo, you sat on the sofa staring at your fingerprints for an hour and the only word that came out of your mouth was 'How?'"

Jensen just put his face in his hands and gave a slightly demented giggle, "Alright. And then?"

Cougar looked away again, then back to the techie with a smile that Jensen would have described as damn sexy, "You started to doze off, so I moved you to the bed, before I could pull away-"

"Don't tell me I got grabby hands with you again. I did didn't I? I knew it. I'm sorry. Again. Forgive me? Please?" Jensen's face was bright red, and he _whined_, as he clasped his hands in front of him in praying position. From the almost shy smile and faint blush he received from Cougar, the techie could tell he was right. "Alright. So I did something worse than feel you up didn't I? I'm sor…ry?" Cougar had grabbed a hold of his clasped hands, and pushed them back down into Jensen's lap.

"How many times do I have to tell you that you have no reason to keep apologizing? You did. Nothing. Wrong. Do not be ashamed." He reached up with his free hand and gently traced the side of Jensen's jaw before holding the other man's chin between a thumb and forefinger. "It was nothing I did not want." He traced his thumb over Jensen's bottom lip before leaning in, and giving the younger man a slow, sweet kiss.

For the first time in a _very_ long time, Jensen's mind came to a screeching halt. His body reacted by moving one arm up around Cougar's shoulders, and the other resting gently on the snipers bicep. But his mind was still stuck in first gear because, holy _shit, _this was _Cougar_, and…_kissing_, and it was _fucking amazing_, and it was _Cougar_. That last thought slammed home just in time for his mind to catch up with his body and he had to push the Spaniard away abruptly, as a combination of nerves (_he was kissing _Cougar) and the hangover kicked in at the same time, to make use of the trash can again. Cougar just rubbed his back until the dry heaving subsided and Jensen sat back up. Cougar's hand moved to his shoulder, and for a moment he just smiled before getting up and crossing the room, to the door, "Brush your teeth and shower. Then meet me downstairs."

"Why, what's happening now? Are you gonna drag me around town to apologize for my behavior?" Jensen was still nauseous, but that kiss had given him more than enough of a jumpstart to get out of bed and head for the bathroom. He jumped as a strong arm wrapped around his waist from behind and a deep, _incredibly sexy_ hum sounded in his ear.

"No, mi amor. I'm taking you out to lunch. You can appologize for your actions later tonight after I take you out and show you off a bit. And this time I'll make sure you remember it." Jensen shivered as a light kiss was placed on the side of his neck, and he had to grab hold of the sink to keep his knees from buckling when Cougar's free hand grabbed his ass. But he did _not_ whimper, God Damnit! He _didn't_. Must have been a rat or something, because _he did not whimper. _Their eyes met in the bathroom mirror, and Cougar's smirk did make him whimper this time. With another quick pat to Jensen's ass, the sniper turned to leave the room, "Check your mini fridge when you go looking for your keys."

"Why is my room key in my mini fridge?"

"You said 'This is really going to confuse me tomorrow.' Apparently, drunk you plays pranks on hung-over you." He could hear the other man's voice getting farther away, and the sound of the door opening.

"This explains so much." All heard was Cougar's echoing laughter just before the door slammed shut.


	3. And Then I Hit the City

**Alright folks, just so you know, this little fic was only supposed to be a oneshot. Then it spilled over into two chapters. I really had no intention of doing anything past reliving Jensen's little adventure. Hell, even the mild smut and the Cougar/Jensen pairing surprised me. (Don't you hate it when the characters have no respect for your plot, and run off to do their own thing?) But you people seem to want more, so more I shall give you. I have no plans for the rest of this but I have realized one thing: In my own head, Jensen is the fandom bicycle. (Jensen's kiss with Clay was so sudden, I didn't know it was happening until after I'd typed it) So I'm willing to bring another into this relationship if you guys want it. It can stay Jensen/Cougar with Clay as a supportive father figure, or I can try to wedge Clay in there, make it Clay/Jensen/Cougar, and have the boys share Jensen.**

**Tell me what you guys want.**

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The Morning After the Night Before

Chapter 3

Jensen stepped out of the shower, wrapped a towel around himself, and walked to the beat up old dresser to find something to wear. He was slightly scared to go downstairs and face Cougar, not knowing exactly what their relationship was becoming. But what scared him even more than that, was having to face Clay. He knew for a fact that Clay was as straight as a two by four, so unless Cougar was lying to him about kissing Clay, he might have to do some apologizing. On the other hand, if Cougar was telling the truth about the fact that Clay happened to _enjoy_ the kiss… well…Jensen really didn't know what he would do, but regardless the situation was going to be awkward. As he tied his shoes, he began to rehearse a short apology in his head, just in case. He started for the door before turning quickly and walking to the mini fridge, sure enough, his room key was sitting on the top shelf. He grabbed the keys, walked out the door, down the stairs, and almost tripped over Cougar as he walked out the front door of the building. The sniper grabbed hold of his arm and stood the younger man upright before turning and walking down the street without a word. Jensen jogged to catch up, "So, uh, where we headed?"

The Spaniard glanced back at his teammate and shoved his hands in his pockets as he spoke around the toothpick in his mouth. "Lunch."

"I gathered that. What I meant was: where? Are you paying? Because I left my wallet back in the hotel. Wait, is this like, a date? Is this _our first date_? That's so sweet Cougs. Since _you're_ taking _me_ out, you have to pay. Does that make you the man in the relationship? I mean, after all, you took me out and got me drunk last night, you molested me this morning, and you're getting me breakfast now. That means we're dating, right? Because I-" He was cut off abruptly, as Cougar spit the toothpick from his mouth, grabbed the front of Jensen's shirt and bodily threw the other man into a wall. Jensen's brain disengaged as the sniper's lips crashed into his own, his hands moving to grab Cougar by the hips. For a long time the two stood pressed together, enjoying the kiss, Cougar's hands moving over every inch of Jensen he could reach. Pushing, grinding, _pinching_, in all the right places, and generally doing things that felt so good they should be _illegal_.

A few seconds later Cougar slowed down, both hands sliding into Jensen's back pockets and giving a gentle squeeze, as he leaned back and waited for his own breathing to calm down. "I didn't molest you last night. _This_ is me molesting you." The Spaniard ground his hips into Jensen's, "Understand the difference, amor?"

Jensen gave a shuddering breath, squeezed his eyes shut and tried to reboot his brain for a moment, "Yeah. Yeah, I think I got it. Though, you might wanna show me again, just to be sure I've really got it memorized." Not that he would ever forget that particular moment.

Cougar just gave him a sexy smile before tugging the other man away from the wall, and continuing down the sidewalk like he hadn't just made out with his teammate in broad day light on a crowded street. Jensen took a moment to make sure his knees would support him before he started jogging to catch up again. The two continued along, making idle conversation, Jensen doing his level best to make Cougar laugh. His rambling rarely succeeded, but he did get more than a few of the gorgeous smiles that made him want to kiss the other man senseless. They ended up at a restaurant slightly above the normal quality of the ones they frequented (A.K.A. it didn't look like you would need a penicillin shot if you touched something). None of the team could afford anything too classy, especially considering they were trying to save most of their money. But it was still obvious that Cougar was trying to make an effort to treat Jensen to something nice, and Jensen more than appreciated the gesture, he showed it by actually enjoying the meal instead of chatting Cougar's ear off.

When the two former soldiers finished they left the restaurant, and headed back to the more rundown part of town. Halfway back to the hotel Cougar veered off the street that would take them home. "This way, amor."

Jensen smiled and followed behind, realizing that Cougar probably had something else in mind for their 'First Date'. "What's down this way? We going for a long walk in the park? A stroll along the beach? What about…um…ok, that's really all I got." He asked, trying to inject some humor into the conversation in order to cover the fact that he was still nervous that he would do something wrong, and Cougar would leave him. Because it was _Cougar_. The man could talk a virgin out of her panties on her wedding day. Jensen still had no idea why the Spaniard would want anything to do with him, but he wasn't going to question things so long as they worked out in his favor.

"I just wanted to keep you all to myself for a bit longer, amor. No need to be frightened." Cougar reached out and held Jensen's hand as they kept walking. Apparently the blonde's voice had betrayed his nerves more than he had realized.

"I'm not frightened. Really. I just… alright, so I am. Just a little. But, honestly? I have no idea what is going on here. I really don't. Are we friends? Friends with benefits? Is this a relationship? Does that make me your boyfriend? When we get back home is this gonna continue? Are we hiding this from the guys? Because if we are, that's gonna take a lot of work. And I mean, _really_ gonna take a lot of work. We're damn near living together as it is, and we don't really have time or space to avoid each other like that. Not to mention the problem with my brain to mouth filter . Fuck, I'll probably start rambling on about something completely normal, and it'll all just come spilling out at one time. That's not how I want the others to find out about this. I mean, I want them to know, because I don't wanna have to hide anything from them. Especially you, I really care about all the guys and I wanna tell anyone that'll listen just how much I love you, but really-" Jensen stopped mid sentence, and mid stride, realizing what he'd just admitted.

Cougar stopped a step ahead of the other man, and watched the _'Oh, shit' _look cross his face, followed by absolute panic. He stepped in front of Jensen, released his hands, and grabbed him by both shoulders. "Calm down, amor." The sniper realized the tech officer was on the verge of a panic attack, and gently nudged him to sit on a nearby bench, kneeling down in front of the blonde. "You need to calm down. Just breath. It's alright. _Dios_, Jake, look at me and listen to the sound of my voice. Everything is ok, amor. I won't leave you. But you need to calm down."

Hearing his given name in the Cougar's accent, had the effect equivalent to a quick slap to the face. Jensen slowly tilted his head up to look at Cougar, and took a few deep breaths before responding, "Look, you know you don't have to do this, right? I mean, I know you're a good guy but you don't need to stick around and pretend to care about me, just 'cause I was an idiot and blurted that all out. You can just leave me hear for a minute while I tell myself how stupid I am. I'll meet you back at the hotel later." His eyes glanced up to meet the sniper's, then darted away, looking everywhere but at the man in front of him.

Cougar's face changed quickly from concern to anger, and he placed his hands firmly on either side of Jensen's face, forcing the other man to look at him, "If I didn't care, do you think I would still be here, trying to keep you from panicking? There is something you have yet to realize. I keep calling you 'amor' for a reason, and it's not just to play with your feelings. I can't tell you for certain that what I feel for you is True Love. But what I can tell you, is that I feel a connection to you that I have never felt before, with anyone. I can tell you that I care for the team, but when _you_ get hurt, something inside me wants to kill the gilipollas that did it to you. I can tell you, that if I didn't care, I would have let you have your way last night and would have taken advantage of your drunken state. But I didn't. I put you to bed, and I made sure you were going to be alright before going to sleep myself. Whatever it is that I'm feeling, it feels amazing, and I don't want it to stop. So until you tell me to go away, I'll be right here with you, and no one is making me leave." He leaned forward and gently pressed a chaste kiss on Jensen's mouth, before standing up, and pulling Jensen up with him. "Now. Come with me, amor. We still have some time to kill." He gently nudged Jensen's chin up, to get the other man to look him in the eyes. "Are we ok?"

Jensen stared hard at Cougar, searching the Spaniard's face for any sign of lies, or deception. He took a long, slow, breath, looked deep inside, and realized something. For as long as the two had known each other, Cougar had never once lied to him. Not once. Had never even hinted at it. He smiled to himself, and decided to take a chance. "Yeah. Yeah, we're ok." He reached out, and grabbed one of the sniper's gun calloused hands, pulling him into a brief kiss. " But, isn't this the part where the cheesy music starts, as we walk off into the sunset, holding hands and skipping?"

Cougar just laughed, and looked up at the five p.m. sun from under the shade of his hat, "Hard to do that at this time of day, amor. But under other circumstances, I would say yes. Though, I refuse to skip anywhere."

He squeezed the younger mans hand in his own, tugging towards their original direction. Jensen followed obediently behind, trying not to laugh at the mental image of Cougar skipping down the street. "So, where _are _we going?"

"Just for a walk." The two men continued on down the street, and cut though a small park, eventually turning their path around in a one eighty, and heading back to the hotel. Their conversations ran all over, jumping from their relationship and where it was going, and what Clay would say about the previous night's kiss and how jealous it made Cougar, to exactly where Roque hides all his knives and what Pooch would say to his wife if/when they ever got home. By the time they got back to the hotel, it was dark out, and both men were hungry enough to warrant going out to dinner. Cougar leaned against the wall outside the front door just long enough for Jensen to run in and retrieve his wallet, before continuing out to a nearby diner.

**That's all for this installment. Now, don't forget to review and tell me your preference of pairing.**


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